Pastor Cody had a word from the Lord that he
was to preach his sermon in reverse.
As you read below, I want you to know the end~first...
Our life has been completely changed, redeemed.
In 2017, we are in a God place,
not just a good place!!
"I see a dark cloud hanging over your head.
Like your waiting for the other shoe to drop.
The Lord wants you to know that he is your redeemer.
It's time to let go and move on."
~Pastor Cody Worship Night
~pick up the pieces
"tell your heart to beat again"
Stop pointing your finger at the devil and see where you went wrong.
Sometimes we just make humanly mistakes.
Or suppose you make a foolish vow of any kind, whether its purpose is for good or for bad.
When you realize it's foolishness, you must admit your part.
Good plans are not always God plans.
We learned this 20 years ago-
the Lord saw it fit to remind me today. 1/15/17
But I have spared you for a purpose—to show you my power and to spread my fame throughout the earth.
The truth does hurt.
The truth does set you free.
As we worked through the rebuilding process,
so much came to the surface, twenty years worth.
We had long, difficult, even hurtful conversations.
We tried having them in neutral areas,
such as restaurants-
I still ended up crying with people staring at me.
We left more than one place with me a blubbering mess!
I was angry I had to get a job.
I did not like the church we were rarely attending.
I did not like my husband.
I didn't want to be married anymore.
I didn't want to live in North Dakota anymore.
I didn't want to move my kids back to Washington.
I have a repentant husband.
He wanted to stay married. He knew we needed to
find a church that worked for us,
knew we were not to move our kids back to Washington,
accepted and understood where he had failed.
There were days we didn't speak much,
but we had set our minds on making this all work.
While I was healing, so was my husband.
He set out to make changes, to accept the places
where he had hurt me so deeply, and to ensure our kids,
that "we" as in mom and dad, were going to be okay.
We did talk to the boys about moving back to Washington.
The idea had merit, and was intriguing.
They wanted to stay.
I had no words.
I wanted them to say living in North Dakota
was stupid and it was time to go home!
All the while, knowing in my heart of hearts,
we needed to stay here,
keep our kids grounded.
While Eric was transitioning into his new metal framing and drywall business, he also took on homeschooling the boys!
I went to work full-time for a while.
Those four months of Eric homeschooling were
life-changing for all of us.
He reconnected with the boys, relieved the pressure of me working and homeschooling,
and I was able to process and heal the deep places.
We started this thing, and we're going to finish it!
We failed forward- again...
The urge to run, the restlessness-
The heart of stone I sometimes get-
The things I've done for foolish pride-
The me that's never satisfied-
The face that's in the mirror when I don't like what I see-
I guess that's just the cowboy in me...
Girl I know there's times you must have thought-
There ain't a line you've drawn I haven't crossed
But you set your mind to see this love on through
I guess that's just the cowboy in you
We ride and never worry about the fall
I guess that's just the cowboy in us all
The Cowboy in Me